I write this post with a great deal of caution. I am going to attempt to flip the script on how autism is often described. Rather than a set of outward behaviors, I am going to attempt to describe autism from the standpoint of the inward sensory experience. This is fraught with all sorts of pitfalls, not the least of which is that every person is unique, and every person, while their experience may in many respects be identical to someone else’s experience, will frame that experience in relation to different memories, different language, and different emotions. To speak in a generalized way of an inward experience of autism is almost guaranteed to fail from the start.
But I’m going to make the foolhardy attempt nonetheless. Here’s why.
Autism is diagnosed on the basis of clinical observation and assessment of external behaviors. While the understanding of the genetic origins of autism are growing, and while other medical markers such as functional MRI brain scans, are also helping advance the knowledge of the autistic brain, the fact remains that we do not as yet have definitive biological markers by which to diagnose autism. There is no blood test for autism. So, the clinical diagnosis of autism is from the standpoint of related behaviors.
But these behaviors are assessed in terms of deviations from what is considered normal. They are assessed from the standpoint of deficits, deficiencies, and disability. It is, after all, labeled Autism Spectrum Disorder. And while this medical model of autism may be our only way currently of diagnosing autism, it creates and furthers social stigma.
After spending three-fourths of this calendar year researching autism, from clinical books to lectures, to persona memoirs and YouTuber videos, to interacting with autistic persons, I have come to see that the experience of autism from the inside is a richer and more beautiful world than it is viewed from the outside.
Continue reading “The Experience of Autism from the Inside”